Take me on a date. Leave your preconceived notions at home and I’ll try to do the same. We don’t have to discuss work or grad school. Let’s not worry about the future or engage in small talk about the weather. Let’s not reveal anything about our families or discuss our friends. For tonight, the world outside does not matter.
Lay your soul bare on the table next to mine and let’s see.
Tell me your fondest memory of love, discuss it in great detail. The smell of the autumn air and the taste of her lips. Tell me what moves you, drives you, the reason you get out of bed every morning. Tell me the dreams you had when you were a kid. Tell me the dreams you have now.
Share your story of loss, how love wasn’t enough. When I put my hand over yours, believe that I will never hurt you.
Indulge me while I tell you about my love of the written word. Ask me to describe the last time music moved me to tears. Ask about my greatest love affair. Ask me those tough questions and don’t get distracted when I attempt to change the subject.
Take me outside my comfort zone. Take me to an arcade. When it becomes painfully obvious that I grew up with books, not games, laugh with me before showing me all the tricks. Take me to a jazz bar and listen to the music swell as I place my head on your shoulder. Take me on a walk. Match your pace to mine. When I start to shiver from the cold, put your arm around me like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like we do this everyday.
Tell me you have that book I’ve been meaning to read. Tell me you make the best French toast in the world. Tell me you’re not ready for the night to end. When I tell you I love French toast, take me to your place.
Hold my hand as you lead me through the door. Hold my gaze as you pull me in for a kiss. Hold me as if I were the key to happiness, the antidote to loneliness.
Wake to the sound of morning traffic and feel me slip out of your arms. Feign sleep while I fumble for my belongings in the dark. Hear me curse under my breath when my body bangs against furniture. Smile at how clumsy I am. Feel the room still. Feel me linger by your door.
Feel my sigh vibrate across the room and open your eyes as the door closes. Hear my heels echo down the hallway. Know that I could not have stayed.