Recently I got into a fight with someone I love very dearly.
I don’t have the best temper in the world. I know this and I’ve been working on it since college. It’s not an easy task, changing a part of my personality. My temper has improved a great deal since I was 18 but I’m fully aware there still exists the Hyde to my Jekyll.
Usually when I feel the tempest brewing within me, I extract myself from the situation. I mentally press pause and leave the room. I go for a walk to clear my head. By the time I return, the storm has passed. You’d be surprised at how trivial most fights will seem if you only give yourself a ten-minute break from it.
This time, however, I forgot the reason I control my temper. This time, I decided to unleash my rage. This time, I met her hurricane with my own tornado and the resounding collision threatened to destroy our relationship.
As I gazed at the debris around us, I did not feel an inkling of triumph. Both of us were wounded, defeated. I decided then to fully commit to protecting our relationship, to never give another storm a chance to rip us apart. I remembered then why I try so hard to control my temper.
Never fight with someone you love. Nothing good will come of it. No one ever walked away from a fight with someone they cared about feeling like a winner, wanting to high-five themselves. Everyone loses. Stop yourself from saying anything you’ll regret later. The anger will pass, but you’ll never be able to take back those words.
Decide how important the relationship is to you. Regard the person standing in front of you as you feel the upcoming storm, weigh your anger in one hand and your relationship in the other, decide if you’re in it for the long run.